


Insecurities: I Love You (You Little Shit)

by FiccinDylan



Series: Insecurities [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Established Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Established Relationship, Feels, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Insecurity, Light Angst, M/M, Miscommunication, mentions of past abuse - derek, not so much smut tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 02:16:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8427055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiccinDylan/pseuds/FiccinDylan
Summary: Derek was Stiles first, and everyone knew it.Because Derek wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for tuning in your guys! It's been a while and I'm trying to get back into writing so I hope you enjoy this. Feel free to leave me comments.

Derek was Stiles’ first. Not his first kiss, that was Heather; nor his first handjob, that was Scott (it’s a long story, but involved Scott sitting on his hand to numb it and then stroking Stiles with his eyes screwed tightly while chanting _“Miley Cyrus, Miley Cyrus”_ over and over. Stiles -trying not to be offended- came through sheer force of will and then brought Scott off thinking “ _The Rock, The Rock_ ” in his head and then wouldn’t look Scott in the eye for the next three days. They were 13. Stiles didn’t start teasing Scott about it until they were 15. He considers it a record in restraint).

But everything else? Derek. His first kiss with tongue so filthy he thought he would faint on the forest floor in the pile of dead orcs that Derek had pulled him from. His first blowjob; his first blowjob with perilous fangs nearby. His first sloppy, perfect rim job; his first fingering, stretching and preparing. His first fucking. His first delicious knot.

His first love.

His first time topping, even if it was from the bottom with Derek riding him mercilessly and taking what he wanted from the young man while simultaneously instructing him how on just exactly _how_ he wanted it; _how_ he needed it. His first time being _needed_. And then his first topping from the top, pinning Derek’s hips in place with a newly gained strength and confidence as he slipped slowly into the wolf, tearing him apart and only keeping him together on his cock.

Of course Derek was his first boyfriend, his first real relationship, his first everything.

Derek was his first, and everyone knew it, because Derek wouldn’t shut the _fuck_ up about it.

It started out small, they’d be in the afterglow, just lounging in each other’s arms in the time between orgasm and the inevitable warm cloth getting. Derek would be nuzzling into Stiles’ neck and say something innocuous and sweet like,

“I love when I can taste myself on your skin. Love that I’m the only one you let seep into it. I crave the taste of us.” and it would make Stiles so lightheaded with the sudden flow of blood away from his brain and towards his other head, that he would just smile and melt into his wolf’s embrace.

It was mostly just harmless cutesy bedroom talk about conquering uncharted land and tales about the long conversations the tip of Derek’s dick had with Stiles’ prostate, “ _it was so lonely, Stiles. It told my tip that it was the only visitor, but it was okay because I make each visit count!”_ and Stiles would just roll his eyes. Sometimes they would roll out of exasperation, like when Derek would tell the story at the breakfast table over a plate of bacon and eggs; but mostly his eyes visited the back of his head because Derek would be demonstrating said visit while narrating. And dammit, the man was right, he made every visit _count_.

So no, the talk wasn’t necessarily bad. Stiles didn’t mind that Derek was his first. He enjoyed his wolf and couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with him. In a way he was proud that Derek took their relationship so seriously, so he didn’t mind an offhand comment here or there. As long as it was reserved for the bedroom, everything was fine.

Well, it was, until Derek started taking it to the street.

“It was pretty awesome, I learned how to break through the ash, and not just on accident!” Scott said with a goofy grin on his face as he tipped his cup up and tried to get the vanilla shake into his mouth.

Stiles laughed, “You can get through mountain ash, but you can’t get through one of Gertie’s shakes?”

“Bro, these things are like concrete, _shit_ /!” Scott lamented as the contents of his cup plastered him in the face, sending Liam and Mason into hysterics. Stiles grinned and grabbed some napkins for his friend.

“Damn Scott, you act like it’s your first time being blasted by one of Gertie’s finest, you’re worse than me.”

Scott took the napkins, chuckling as Derek settled in beside his mate with a kiss to his cheek.

“Aww sweetie, don’t say that, it was your first time.”

Stiles’ eyes widened as Liam and Mason giggled nervously. Scott looked at Derek wide eyed and Derek returned the look with a subtle flash of his alpha reds.

“I guess you had to be there. You weren’t.” Derek planted another kiss on Stiles’ cheek before heading towards the counter to place his order. The table was still silent until Scott spoke up.

“Bro, what the fuck was that?” he whispered into Stiles’ reddened ears. Stiles shrugged as Derek came back with another shake for Scott and a wet towel. Scott, though confused, nodded his thanks and took the items from Derek.

The day went on and Stiles mostly forgot the thing even happened until that night when Derek rubbed his knot against Stiles’ prostate and whispered wetly into his ear.

“Scott was you first friend, but I’m your first _fuck_. He was your first alpha, but I’m your alpha now, the alpha of _your ass_.”

Stiles felt like maybe he should have said something then, but he couldn’t exactly talk at the moment so he decided to file it away for later. He wasn’t sure if there was even a thing that needed to be said. Derek’s possessiveness never really bothered him, but the lack of appropriateness of bringing up things in public led to some concern. At least it was just in front of pack.

Until it wasn’t.

It was small things. They’d be at a farmer’s market and Derek would pick up a hand pie and show it to Stiles. He’d stick a claw in and pull out a cherry, cocking an eyebrow at Stiles as he popped it into his mouth.

“What does that remind you of?” he’d asked cockily before walking towards another stand, leaving Stiles there to receive gawking (or admittedly sometimes appreciative) stares from other patrons. Stiles would gulp, pay for the pie and then run after Derek, his face burning. By the time he caught up with him Derek would wrap an arm around his shoulder, kiss him senseless and then show him a flower or something else he’d found and Stiles would completely forget his embarrassment.

That was the thing about Derek’s affections. Stiles didn’t mind that Derek took pride in being his first, because anyone with eyes and a heart could see that wasn’t a bad thing. Derek was fucking _hot_ , and he was kind and generous. Sure, he carried a bad boy facade and had a glare that could melt steel when incited, but overall Derek was a passionate soul who’d overcome a lot of obstacles to finally start living a life he could never have before imagined.

And that life included Stiles Stilinski. The two were clearly fated to be together and they complimented each other like peanut butter and chocolate. So Derek being Stiles’ first was actually a source of pride for Stiles. The sex was amazing and Stiles didn’t want to have that with anyone except the person he was designed to love a lifetime with. Sure, he’d had options, Danny may have joked about his offer at school, but later he extended a real invitation to Stiles. If Stiles hadn’t been abducted by a feral coyote he probably would have been deflowered then. As fate would have it, Derek saved him from the coyote (Stiles assumed as he’d passed out in the coyote’s pheromone filled den and woke up in a pile of dead orcs) and Stiles all but slapped him in the face with his V-card, cashing it in many different times, and in many different positions.

So again, it’s not so much that Stiles minds, but it does make him wonder. Why is Derek so preoccupied with being his first? Does he feel like Stiles isn’t experienced enough? Is he unsatisfied? Stiles wracked his brain to think of a time when Derek didn’t finish or didn’t look completely sated and he came up empty. He didn’t think there was anything to be worried about, but he wondered if maybe Derek’s recent talk was actually veiling something between them left unsaid?

He knew he should probably say something before Sunday dinner with the Sheriff, so of course he completely fucking forgot.

“So the deputy brings in this kid and he spends the entire night in the drunk tank wailing _Like a Virgin_ and grinding against the bars as if that’s going to convince us he doesn’t need to be in the cell.”

“Do kids still even know that song? That’s so random.” Stiles said as he hugged his dad goodbye at the door. Dinner went well as it always had and he and Derek were standing outside getting ready to go. The Sheriff shrugged.

“Hell, it’s over 30 years old, I’m surprised you even know what it is.” he said, as Derek huffed.

“Yeah, he hasn’t had experience with that for a long time.” he said fondly, throwing a wink in Stiles’ direction.

Even though they were outside, Stiles could feel the air dashed from the room as he watched his dad gawp at his wayward mate.

“Son?” His dad started as he placed a hand gently over his firearm and pointed the finger of his other hand at Derek. “Did…. did you just joke about relieving my son of his virginity?”

Stiles was glad that Derek at least had the sense to look sheepish. Sure, they’d been together for almost a year and Stiles was an adult and the Sheriff knew of Stiles’ password protected folders on his laptop so it was no real secret that Stiles was getting plowed six ways to Sunday on the regular, but damn, Derek!

“Damn, Derek!” Stiles hissed as Derek ducked his head and rubbed at the back of his neck before looking back up at the Sheriff.

“Yes, sir, I guess I did.” Derek proclaimed, not even trying to come up with a legitimate excuse, he simply shrugged.

The Sheriff looked at him, still flummoxed, but seemed to soften at something in his eyes. He chuckled lightly and shook his head before pulling Stiles into an embrace.

“Quite the mate you choose for yourself there, kid. I don’t want to see you for at least three days. Love you.”

Stiles mumbled out a ‘ _Love you, too’_ and turned to glare at Derek. Unfortunately the wolf was already headed back to the car, whistling jauntily.

Oh yeah, they were definitely going to have a talk about this virginity business.

Just as soon as Derek got his tongue out of Stiles’ ear, and… okay maybe after he got done nibbling on Stiles’ neck? Shit, maybe after he got done fucking him into the floor? Yeah, he’d definitely say something then. He dozed for a moment and when he woke up it was to Derek nuzzling his neck as his cock softened in his ass. Stiles sighed contentedly, but still focused on figuring out what the hell was going on.

How should he bring it up? What was he hoping to get out of it? What it really a big enough deal? He and Derek had been through so much together and literally survived with each other; this wasn't a deal-breaker, but what if it brought something up that was?

Stiles sighed, resigned to just get it over with when he felt Derek's lips press warm and plush into the back of his shoulder. When Stiles got his mating bite, that's where it would be.

“You awake?” Derek asked, clearly knowing the answer. Stiles grinned and nodded minutely as Derek chuckled. “Good, I wanted to knot you full now and have you pass out on it later.” he whispered. Stiles couldn't help his tremble nor the roll of his eyes. He pinched Derek's thigh.

“Yeah, yeah big guy, you rock my world… listen-”

“I love that I can do that to you. Hell, I wanna commission a triskelion flag tattoo to put on your ass so everyone will know I'm your first and only.” Derek snuggled Stiles closer and ran a warm hand up and down Stiles’ thigh before settling it on his stomach.

“Derek, I love you so much, I-”

“Mmm… I love you, too.” Derek interrupted again. Stiles groaned lightly, but this time Derek continued. “I love how much you love and support me and everything you've given me. I love that I'm your first, and I love even more that you were mine.”

Stiles eyes flew open as he tried to understand what it was Derek just said. He peered at the wolf and tried to wriggle around in his embrace, but Derek grip (and the cock still lodged in Stiles’ ass) hardened.

“Derek, what are you talking about? Everyone in the fucking city knows you were my first by now, but I definitely wasn't yours.” Stiles admonished with a playful tweak to the nipple he could reach.

Derek's eyes were closed, but he furrowed his eyebrow adorably and shook his head.

“Nope, you were definitely my first. And you let me be yours too. It still blows me away which is why I guess I never shut up about it. Thanks for that by the way.”

The lupine asshole had the nerve to smack his lips and yawn before Stiles punched him in the arm and leaned forward to disconnect them.

“Stiles! What the hell? What's wrong?” Derek reached one hand down to console his confused dick and the other hand out to grab his little shit of a boyfriend.

Stiles stood naked to the world, facing the bed with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Derek Hale, you've been blasting our sex business all over town and now you're trying to sell me on a fundamental aspect that you've gotten wrong? What the hell is going on?! Are you making fun of me? Because I thought you were proud you were my first.” and Stiles did. As he rambled he tried to work down the list of things Derek and he had done and he couldn't lay claim to anything.

Fellatio? Paige. Fucking? Fucking Kate. Anal? Jen. Hell, he even knew he wasn't the first guy Derek had ever been with after he'd walked in on Derek and Boyd all those years ago. What was Derek playing at?

“I never bought into societal pressure that I either had to give it up or save it, but I always felt that it mattered more the person I gave it to and I thought you were… I don't know, fucking honored by that? But if you're gonna rub in my face that I wasn’t your first then-”

“Stiles please, wait, that's not what-”

“Then why did you say I was your first?!”

“Because you are! Stiles, listen-” Derek scooted to the edge if the bed and placed his hands on Stiles’ arms, pulling them down gently and guiding the boy into his lap. He looped his arms around his neck and nipped the boy's nose gently, causing him to blush. Derek loved that blush.

“I've been through a lot of bullshit sexually, Stiles. And you've never once held it against me. You never once held your virginity over my head; neither your innocence, nor the fact that you had a choice where mine was consistently taken.”

Stiles stilled as Derek paused to take a breath. He ran his fingers lightly through Derek's soft raven locks and looked into the kaleidoscope of his eyes as he gathered his thoughts.

“Stiles, you were my first love, my first choice, the first time I wanted something and the first time I didn't feel bad for wanting.”

“Der …”

“Wait, I just… I wanna finish this,” Derek anchored Stiles by his hips as the boy nodded in agreement. “Stiles, you are the first time I didn't feel manipulated into doing it being something I wasn't. And I'll always treasure you for that.”

Derek reached up and wiped away a tear that'd fallen down Stiles’ cheek before Stiles wrapped him up in his arms tightly, placing soothing kisses on the wolf's neck.

“Thanks, reclaimed hymen wolf, _ouch_!” Stiles yelped as Derek pinched him hard on the ass.

“You're welcome, you little shit.”

“I love you, Derek.”

“I love you, Stiles.”

***

*****

The next weekend they're at the diner with their pack and Stiles holds up a slice of the cherry rhubarb pie. He poked Derek and then stuck his finger in pulling out a cherry.

“Hey, what's that remind you of?”

The pack groaned, but Derek beamed.

“Oh, I don't know, a night a year ago when I busted yours in your childhood bed?”

“You guys, really?”

“Shut up, Scott, you weren't there.”

“That's my pie!”

“Shut up, Isaac, I was being romantic, I'll get you another slice! I'm using this one to demonstrate how Derek wrecked me!” he turned to Derek, kissing him with entirely too much tongue to be on the sweet side of PDA. “I was half a virgin that day; you took it all.”

“You gave it all, you little shit.” Derek said fondly with humor in his eyes.

“So about my pie…?”

“Shut up, Isaac!”

**Author's Note:**

> Stereks don't die, we multiply!! ;)
> 
> Come check me out on tumblr: ficcindylan


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